Someday’s I feel like a single parent

I have had this post in my head for a few days now, and then Jay from @cosmicgirlie must have had a psychic moment and wrote almost exactly what I was thinking in her post the not so single parent.

Although our circumstances are very different, I empathise and agree with every word.

Hubby and I have always worked and have fought our way up our respective career ladders.  When my older children were young, we both worked in retail which involved long hours and working weekends, but we figured it was worth it to try and get on and build a better life for all of us.

It was a challenge, we had to balance our rota’s, had to rely on childcare and our days off were spent catching up on housework whilst trying to fit in some family time.

To progress in his career, hubby then moved to nights – the only manager role he could get – and it was no longer possible for me to continue in my role as our hours just wouldn’t work, so I changed career.  This time I joined an Investment Bank and for the first time since I left school, I had weekends off – heaven!!

Hubby won’t mind me saying this, but night work made him grumpy – very grumpy and the crunch came when he wrote his car off by falling asleep at the wheel driving home after a 13 hour shift!

He changed his job, but stayed in retail, meaning he worked most weekends however the job was mostly 9-6 so he was home every evening so we actually got some family time, which was fantastic.

After Eliza joined us, hubby was by then working as an area manager and couldn’t have specific days off, so returning to work for me, needing two in childcare, just wouldn’t be feasible and work were completely inflexible, so again I had to leave.

Now I am a childminder and working from home 6 days a week, which in some ways is fantastic but in others it feels like I never actually finish work.  The problem I have is that Hubby was made redundant last November so changed jobs.  I shouldn’t complain that he practically walked into a new one………but his hours are a nightmare.

He is still in retail and is expected to be in store EVERY hour it is open – 9am – 8pm.  This means he doesn’t get home until at least 8.30pm every night if he is on time, which also means that the little ones just don’t see him.  He also has to work EVERY weekend without fail.  With my history in retail I understand it is “needs of the business” but it also means we rarely get to do things as a family.

He is as frustrated as I am, because my job means that the two days he has off (where he remains on call) I am working and the older kids are at school, meaning we still don’t get any family time!

This makes me feel like a single parent – I have to do night wake-ups, dinnertime, bath time, bedtime, get them ready for and into school by myself and he doesn’t seem to realise I am tired too, but we are lucky we are both working.

I love this photograph, taken this week – they miss Daddy, so when he is home it is all about the quality time.  I promise he is under there somewhere!!

Quality time with Dad!

Are you in the same boat?

8 thoughts on “Someday’s I feel like a single parent”

  1. My hubby works in a restaurant in the kitchen so works long hours he normally works 4/5 days a week 14 hour days so we don’t get to see him very much either

  2. We are similar as my other half works all week then works sat nights and sometimes fri too and then is in bed the next morning. We don’t have the money or time to go out and enjoy time together. He is being made redundant on wed and is trying to get a job in London and we are in Cheshire so he will be away all week but I hope we have great weekends!

  3. i’m with you mon-fri! my hubs works in IT so starts early and finishes late but luckily mon-fri. He barely sees the kids. He is about at the weekend but sometimes he brings the laptop home to catch up. So far a stern glare has told him otherwise!
    I had to laugh on weds tho – i had a hospital appointment at 8.40 which meant he would have to look after baby and get our 5 year old to school. The fuss he made about getting ready!

  4. I totally understand where you are coming from. I work part time after having my son, which was easier and more affordable for me than having to put him in childcare. My husband works 7.30am until 4.15pm but does whatever overtime he can, so sometimes he doesn’t get home until after 7pm, and also works Saturdays. My days off work are filled with housework, batch cooking, school runs, shopping BUT I’m on my own those days when LO is at nursery. I only work 2 days, which I’m lucky for, BUT it does feel like I’m on my own. My husband comes home and almost instantly falls asleep as he’s so tired. We’re altogether on a Saturday afternoon when hubby finishes work and spend Saturday nights together, but LO goes out with inlaws on a Sunday and he stops at my parents on a Sunday night to allow me to prepare for work on a Monday morning. Roll on the Easter Weekend for some quality time together x


Leave a Comment