For obvious reasons, it can take a period of adjustment for a parent to cope with a child leaving the nest. For so many years their home has been nothing but a warm refuge from the world outside and a place to generate many happy family memories. Now this is over, it’s not hard to see why parents can have a tough time adjusting.
Of course, this doesn’t come overnight. For the most part, your child has been growing more independent for years, and their ability to move out, be that going to college, getting a job, or finding their own place is a healthy step forward.
That said, an empty room and a new life schedule untethered to caring for your children day after day can be new to many parents, especially because it may have been nearly 20 years before you had to think of that last.
Some questions remain – what should you do with your child’s bedroom? How are you to change your budget now that you don’t have to pay your child’s way for the most part, or perhaps you’re now without the small contribution to the household-they gave you? In this post, we’ll discuss a few considerations you may wish to make after your child, or children, have flown the nest:
Rediscovering Your Identity
Of course, “parent” is absolutely a valid identity to have, largely the most important one you will ever own. That said, while your parental duties are far from over, it’s true to say that the role becomes a little looser when your children fly the nest.
They may only need financial assistance in certain circumstances from here on out, are perfectly capable of doing their own laundry, and can make their own life decisions piece by piece. This means that while you’re always going to be there for advice or to soothe them when life proves to be tough, you have your own space for yourself now.
This might mean learning what hobbies you love now you have more time and budget to invest in them. Perhaps you want to enjoy activities that you felt you couldn’t for a while, like heading to rock concerts or building your own start-up from your garage. Anything goes, and it’s absolutely common for empty-nester parents to explore a few different activities to see what sticks. Have fun, and don’t forget to put yourself out there!

Focus On Your Relationship Anew
If you’ve gone through the adventure of parenthood with your partner, or perhaps have experienced part of it with them, well, that’s one of the most bonding experiences you could ever go through.
Now is a good time to invest in one another again. It’s not uncommon for married couples to reaffirm their vows when their children leave, plan for retirement in the future, or give themselves some time to enjoy romantic self-indulgence. For example, booking a cruise, or going on a long vacation away can help you celebrate the new norms in your life, and then return to a living situation where it may be the two of you together most of the time.
It’s good to implement a few new date nights, to discuss your priorities for the future, and generally “touch base” now you may have more free time to work with. Sure, your children leaving the nest doesn’t mean you won’t have to work, or that your children will never return, or that you’re somehow different people. But it does mean that knowing what you want from the future is key to a healthy tomorrow.
Consider The Needs Of Your Living Space
When your children leave the nest, you have more room to work with. Of course, you could keep your child’s bedroom exactly as it is ready for their arrival when necessary. But the truth is that you don’t have to do this in order to be a “good parent.” This is your space, the house you’ve paid for, and you have every right to use the spare space as you see fit.
This might involve converting it into a home office for more comfort. You might decide the renovate and extend the house in that direction. Depending on your tastes, you might also decide to downsize and save some money in the long run, instead of spending overly on mortgage repayments for a larger house than you need.
In the meantime, it’s good to use low cost storage providers that will hang onto your precious items in the interim. That means you don’t have to dispose of or sell any of your child’s old belongings. Moreover, as you downsize and adjust your living orientation, you’ll need to store a large amount of your own possessions, too. This approach allows you to subvert that need, giving you a little more breathing space to work with.

Readjusting Your Priorities As A Parent
Of course, you’ll always see your child as your little one, that’s the nature of being a parent. But as they grow, they learn to drive, they have their own job and now their own place, it’s good to readjust your priorities in tow.
For example, it doesn’t hurt to ask them for help from time to time if you need it. That might involve scheduling family trips, asking them to dog-shit when you’re on vacation, or working on mutual plans that benefit you both.
Working out healthy arrangements can be ideal. If they’ve welcomed a new baby, then you can discuss how you’re to help them, such as babysitting from time to time if they want to go for a meal as a couple. There’s a more adult relationship that develops between adult children and their parents, and it’s essential to be okay with that and move into new norms with flexibility.
That said, your child is of course still your child. They will need guidance, ask for help, and may require some emotional support when things don’t go as planned, just as they can for anyone. It’s important to note that while your child isn’t living at home anymore, they still care about your opinion and will be open to your guidance, so don’t feel ashamed in offering that.
Enjoy Yourself!
Parenthood is amazing for many people, but it’s true that it comes with many responsibilities and intense duties you need to focus on if you’re to get anywhere.
If you just want to spend some time having fun with your partner, free from obligations and duties in the meantime, then that can be healthy. We always think “blowing off steam” is only acceptable to those who might be in their college years, or who may be of “a partying age,” but the truth is that you’re never too old for good fun.
So don’t be afraid to throw those dinner parties, or to head to that festival, or to go on a long road trip. Now could be a great time to catch up with your family that have moved far out, and establish connections once more. No matter your approach, you’re sure to benefit.

Join Social Groups
It’s hard to make friends as an adult compared to someone in their teenage years or early 20s, because you might not be exposed to a regularly rotating group of people you can meet and connect with.
When your child leaves the home, you might not have the same flow of people coming in an out the house. For this reason, it’s good to apply some initiative and go out there to meet people naturally. That might involve joining hobbyist groups (even your local gardening allotment can expose you to people), volunteering if you’re so inclined, community organizations, and whatever else you find enjoyable.
This can bind you to hobbies and connections with other people you appreciate, and it may also grant you the chance to get out there and experience a life you may have never known otherwise. Unfortunately, it’s true that even if your partner is the love of your life and your best friend, 24/7 exposure to them around the clock without any proximity to other people can make even the best relationships a little strained. If you both have a little time away from one another and friends you can spend time with, even a little, then that’s a good place to start.
There’s No One Path
Remember that there’s no “one right way to go about things,” and that you have the chance to explore at your own pace. You don’t have to sit inside and worry if you’re doing post-parenthood right, you can explore, find what works, and move on from there.
What matters is not staying still or expecting things to happen on their own. If you can adapt to that mindset, then you may just have a wonderful time despite your children flying the nest.
With this advice, you’re sure to make the rest of your life, the best of your life, even when your children have moved out of the house.