Children are curious individuals. Their curiosity fuels them to want to discover more and more things in their surroundings. Everything within their grasp, they touch, smell, or put into their mouths. They end up tasting grass, dirt, toys, coins, and every little thing around them. However, these discoveries sometimes have painful consequences. It can be a bitter taste, a foul smell, or even a trip to the doctor’s office. Children start to realise at an early age that their choices may not be dependable yet and may get them to trouble. Thus, children observe adults on their choices so as to avoid the bad consequences.
Children are impressionable. They observe their parents, their older brothers and sisters, and the people they interact with every day. Then they mimic the actions those individuals take. However, children do not just imitate everyone; they imitate only those they trust. Studies show that children imitate the people they prefer. However, this preference stems from an earlier mimicking act of the adult. If the child sees the adult imitating an act normally done by the child, i.e. choosing a favourite box or a favourite toy, then such an act inspires the trust of the child. Next time the kid sees the adult do something else, this trust encourages the child to copy that act.
Children imitate all types of behaviours – the way their parents talk, how their brothers play, how their sisters arrange their hair. They see everything and imitate everything. This observation and mimicry does not stop at childhood. Even in adulthood, children continuously observe and imitate their parents. This may consist of the parent’s speaking habits, work ethics, driving habits, even their partner preferences. Imitation is a trait usually associated with childish behaviour. However, recent studies suggest that imitation is highly linked with the development of human intelligence. From birth up to seven years of age, children function primarily through mimicry. These are a child’s formative years. Thus, it is important that parents project positive traits and habits, and limit habits that are unproductive or destructive.
For kids to learn positive traits, parents should act the way they want their children to act. Positive role model traits include making positive choices and processing these choices out loud for them to understand the reasoning behind them. This gives them positive decision-making skills. It is likewise important that when a parent makes a mistake, they should own up and apologise. This teaches the child that it is okay to be wrong sometimes, and that the right thing to do is to apologise.
It is also important for kids to realise the value of commitment. Parents can show this by following through on any promises they make to the child, or by persevering even if fulfilment is difficult. Showing respect towards the child also teaches the child to show respect towards the parent and others. It is also important for parents to have varied interests for a well-rounded outlook in life. When the child sees that the parent can fulfil other roles, like being a teacher, a friend, a dancer, a painter or a photographer, the child realises that they need not be pegged into one role all their life.
Most of all, parents have to exude confidence so that their children learn to be confident as well. These characteristics, which can be learned during the formative years of development, will help the child succeed as an adult.
I agree on setting an example.
Unfortunately, I lost my job and started drinking a lot. My 2 boys noticed it and after a while my eldest said “Daddy, why do you drink so much”. I was shocked he was noticing and cut down. After that I only drank in evenings after my sons had gone to bed (maybe 1 or 2 at lunchtime!! when at school), but it hit home and I managed to pull myself together, sober up (although not to extremes of teetotal) and find another job.
Was the best thing he ever said to me (besides “I love you”) and made me realise.