In this article, we’ll be discussing five things a couple must consider before calling it quits for good…
If you’re on the fence about your current relationship and have been considering a breakup, chances are there is a lot on your mind. When people have problems in their relationship they tend to just focus on the negative and neglect the good side.
So, before you make any rash decisions or seek advice from separation agreement solicitors in London, you should attempt to have honest and open conversations with your partner to see if there is anything you can both do to make the relationship work.
Below, we’ll be giving a run-through of the five things that every couple should consider before ending things for good…
1. Is There Still Trust?
Trust is one of the key ingredients in any healthy relationship. It allows both individuals in to feel safe and comfortable without the need for one or both partners anxiously wondering where the other partner is.
When there is no trust, feelings of jealousy and contempt can develop which can ultimately lead to a breakdown in the relationship. On the other hand, trust builds respect and loyalty to your partner, overall promoting less conflict and a greater sense of security.
2. Do Your Core Values Align?
Having the same values is incredibly important in any relationship, as they can determine how one another would like to be treated and their expectations. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to have all the same interests or find someone who’s perfect in every single way. However, finding some common ground where your main values are aligned, for example, regarding faithfulness, family and love, is a good start.
It’s also worth noting that different personalities don’t mean different values. People could be completely differently natured but still have the same core values. Below are some other examples of core values to think about:
- Ambition
- Work ethic
- Attitude
- Kindness
- Generosity
- Integrity
- Honesty
- Accountability
- Courage
3. Do You Still Want the Same Future?
Essentially, all this question means is that you both want the same things. For this one, it’s important to master the right balance of compromise so that your dreams can coexist with one another but equally without having to sacrifice the things that are important to you.
For instance, if one partner wants kids and a house in the countryside and the other partner wants a child-free lifestyle in the big city, then sadly your visions don’t quite match up.
4. Is There Still Respect?
Respect is a vital element for any happy, healthy relationship. Respect is a building block for feelings of trust, security and well-being. You learn to be patient with your partner as well as recognise their own limitations and capabilities.
Here are a few examples whereby couples can demonstrate respect for one another:
- Reflective and active listening
- Encouraging and motivating one another
- Respecting them as their own person separate from the relationship and allowing them independence
- Demonstrating empathy
- Practising forgiveness
- Making time for one another
- Expressing appreciation and love for each other
- Showing interest in your partner’s hobbies and work
A lack of respect in a relationship usually appears due to a power imbalance in a relationship, where one partner feels under-appreciated by their significant other. Ultimately, an absence of respect in a relationship can lead to feelings of anger, resentment, and sadness.
5. You’re Able to Forgive Past Mistakes
While it can take time and effort from both partners, forgiveness is an essential tool for making any relationship last. Many studies in recent years have found that couples that practice forgiveness are more likely to enjoy longer, and more satisfying relationships.
Forgiveness is, however, circumstantial as mistakes can range from trivial to severe. While it is completely your decision, you shouldn’t really find yourself forgiving things that have traumatised you.
Be Honest with Yourself
It’s natural to find yourself questioning your relationship from time to time. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over. So, before calling it quits for good, have a think about the things we’ve mentioned above. Ask yourself if you still think there is mutual respect and trust for one another.
If there is an absence of the things listed above and you don’t think the relationship is salvageable, now may be a good time to start thinking more about where to go from here as well as, asking for advice from dear ones.